Frozen
by Destiny's Daughter
Summary: What do you do when you feel like you have nothing left in the world? How do you react when you know that your life will never be the same? What do you say when you are pregnant at 15, by unbearable circumstances? Simple, you just love, and live. OCxOC


**Hey. This is my first story that I have written that is based off of a true story, and I found this actually kinda difficult to write. This is also a very personal story to me, so please keep the flames to minimum. This is the recently editted version of this story, and personally i think it so much better! However i would like you to be the judge of that, please review!**

Frozen

By: Destiny's Daughter

_I would stop running_

_If I knew there was a chance_

_It tears me apart to sacrifice it all_

_But im forced to let go_

_You tell me im frozen_

_But what can I do?_

_Frozen- Within Temptation_

Chapter One: The Last Day of being Normal

I sat on my warm bed, my feet folded gently under my legs. Despite the warm May night I was shaking like a blizzard was working its way through my room. My hands clutched at my knees to ease that shaking, every breath taking all the energy I had left inside of me. I felt a trickle of sweat twinkle down my spine making me shiver at the cold empty feeling. My tear stained eyes never left my lap where, collapsed on top of my thighs was a revolver. The cool metal stung at my sides like a thousand needles and I took steady breaths to calm myself from the imaginary pain I was feeling at the thought of it.

This was not my first attempt at suicide. I had tried many times before to end my life, and almost fainted before I could even think of pulling the trigger. This was the first time I had actually come close enough to touch the gun which had remained under my pillow for the last half a year. It was the thought of that now which chilled me to my core. Tonight was the best time for me to do it, my mom was at my Aunt Marie's house, and my dad was still at his job as a fire fighter, my sisters out partying and my little brother asleep in his small bed. I was all alone, and I hated it. I was tired of feeling so alone even when I was surrounded by rooms filled with people. The emptiness that surrounded me every time I looked at a person's smiling face made me want to turn away from the world and never look back. It made me scared; it made me sad, sad that I wasn't ever able to feel as happy as they were. It made me mad; mad at myself for getting into this situation, mad that I had to hide myself from the world to protect myself, and mad that most people I knew didn't really care what happened to me.

All accept one. I turned my head to face my bedside table, a dark shape in my dimly lit room. However the objects on my dresser were lit up with moon light so I could see everything quite clearly, but the one thing I was looking at was my small picture frame. Sitting in the small frame was a picture of a boy and a girl. My eyes quickly scanned over the part of the picture that was the girl, I didn't need to look at myself a few years younger. The only thing I cared about was the small boy on the right side of the picture. My eyes teared up as I looked at his black hair, plump cheeks, and beautiful blue eyes. Over the years since I had taken that picture the boy had lost the plumpness in his cheeks giving him a sleek handsome jaw line, his beautiful looks had matured and entranced, and a simple smile from him had girls on their knees begging for his attention. He was one of the most popular boys in our school, and also the kindest. I knew him much longer before he was popular, we were best friends when we were kids and are even greater friends now. Yet somehow along the way, something inside us sparked. He was my greatest friend, my most treasured being in the world, and my boyfriend Kellan Newman. I still never figured out why he picked me. I was definitely wasn't the prettiest girl in school, Im barley good looking never mind anything the boy population expects of us females. Kellan however, didn't seem to care. He treated me just like everyone else when we were just friends, and even better when we got together. We have been together since we were 14 and for some reason we never tired of each other, or got mad at each other. Honestly, I still don't think I deserve someone as good as him. He was and is truly my savior, and the dearest thing in my heart. I let my tears fall down my cheeks and I let out strangled sobs thinking about him. He was usually over here with me; he had hardly left my side for the longest time, but tonight he was out late at work and wasn't able to come. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't here with me that bothered me; it was the fact that I knew he would have tried to stop me if he was. He loved me, he said that to me many times, and I loved him just as much, but the pain I was feeling, all the hurt filled memories that had welled up inside of me were starting to break free. I couldn't stand it, I know he would never forgive me for this, but I just couldn't stand it; I couldn't stand living like this anymore.

Crying softly I turned my head back to my lap and slowly lifted up the gun. Pressing the barrels end against my head I took a few deep breaths. My thoughts started jumbling through my head like they always did when I came to this point. I was going to miss him; I was going to miss everyone, but I didn't deserve to stay alive. I deserved to die, I wanted to. I lifted up my left hand and pulled back the safety on the revolver. Placing my right finger on the trigger I took a deep breath.

Suddenly I felt a sharp kick in my stomach and my eyes flew open at the sudden burst of pain causing me to drop the gun on my bed beside me. I gasped slightly as I felt the kick again, this time somewhat gentler. Placing my shaking hands on my stomach I felt tears race down my cheeks.

_She's never kicked that hard before. _I thought smiling bitterly. The only thing I felt in response from my daughter was a little nudge. Sighing I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and buried my face in my hands in shame. I had come so close, so close to doing the one thing I feared most, and strived for. I didn't know what I was doing. I made a promise; I promised I wouldn't try or even think about something like that ever again, I promised both myself and Kellan. I looked up my tears ceasing as I wiped them away and stared at the gun which lay on my mattress. With itching hands I picked up the gun, and before I could resist that ever tempting urge I put the safety back on and thrust it back under my pillow.

I placed one of my hands softly on my ever growing stomach I gave a slight smile. Only a few more months till I would give birth to her. It was a thought which comforted me and scared me. I was only fifteen; I didn't know the first thing about raising a child and Kellan, although he had a young sister wasn't ready to be a father.

Especially to a child that wasn't his.

I shook my head trying to clear away the frightful images that were burrowing their way through my mind once more, but as always at the slight thought, the memories came tumbling forward.

--

_I could feel his hands tracing my back, even the lightest of his touches sending waves of fear tumbling through my body. Jason's nails dug deep into my neck caused me to give a wince of pain as I felt something sticky slide down my neck. I felt his hands tracing my body from behind me and I struggled for breath as he touched my half naked body. His knife in one hand he moved his hands around my bound arms which lay in the centre of my back and slide his hands up and around my sides till he was touching my stomach. Pushing his face into the crook of my neck I felt his hands glide smoothly up my chest and onto my shoulders._

"_There will be no need for this." He said chuckling darkly in my ear, sliding down the straps of my small nightgown off of my shoulders and down to my elbows._

_My eyes widened as I realized what he was trying to do. Using my bound hands I struck my fists into his stomach and pressed my back hard against him so he was pushed into the dark grey wall behind us. I heard him grunt in surprise but I didn't turn around to look what I did to him. As fast as I could in my weakened state I stood up on shaky legs and backed away panting slightly at the thought of what he wanted to do with me. I swung my head around looking for the door. _

_Where was it? I thought desperately, but by then all of the little time I had to escape was wasted. Jason's partner Jessie raced up towards him to help him up but Jason had already recovered and was advancing towards me, knife in hand once more._

"_Stay back!" I said in a small quivering voice as he came closer, towering over me menacingly, shaking my bound wrists behind me and curling them into fists. "Im warning you!" I continued to say as he pushed me up against the wall and leaned towards me. _

_He laughed into my ear, his cool breath making tears prickle in my eyes. "Do you intend to fight me Annie? You, who is tied up, who has no weapon, and nobody to help you? You're all alone my little Ann. There is no way you can possibly fight against me all by yourself."_

_He was right of course. There I was, pushed up against a corner, my body covered with bruises, my arms tied tightly behind me, my legs battered and bloody, and my entire being shaking with fear and exhaustion. Not to mention the fact that I was there in only my nightgown with the man I hated the most feeling me up and down._

_With tears sliding down my cheeks I began to realize how bad my situation was getting. _

_Only a few people have probably realized I am missing by now, nobody knew where I was, and I was probably miles away from any sort of civilization so no one would hear my screams. He was right; I was all alone. _

_And completely vulnerable. _

--

I shivered trying to shake away the horrible feeling of him touching me.

I wasn't always like this. I used to be happy; I didn't used to feel so alone. There was a time when I would have given anything just to be alone, and now all I wanted was company. No one seemed to understand that though, they think that just because I went through something hard means I just want to be alone and cry it out. They all think that I will get better quicker if im just left alone, but I won't. Yet, for some reason no one seems to understand that, accept for Kellan. He was the only one that truly understood my pain. Although for the longest time I didn't exactly know why. He wasn't there, he didn't feel what I felt, and I had never told anyone, even him, about how it exactly happened. So how was he able to understand me so completely and so fully? How he was always able to know what was on my mind even when I tried my hardest to hide it was always a mystery to me. The only answer I ever came up with when I asked myself these questions was the fact that he was part of me, and I was a part of him, we completed each other. He felt the pain I was going through, perhaps not physically, but mentally, because deep inside he knew exactly what Jason and Jessie had done to me.

--

_I took deep shaky breaths, trying to calm myself as I saw my second foe approach me, a burning stick of iron in his hand. I tried to swallow my fear, but the bright red glow of the advancing bar and the man holding it made my eyes grow wide and begin to shake once more. I looked up at it in fear, my heart racing. _

_The evil boy smirked down at me, taking in my fear as if it was addicting. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. My throat was dry and my voice box seemed to fail me at the time._

"_What? No screaming?" Jessie mocked me bending down next to me and placing his hand on my chin. "Come on, you know how much I love to hear your screams." _

_Tears flooded my vision and my entire body shook with fear; but my mouth remained open, and unmoving. Still not hearing any response from me I saw Jessie's anger flare._

"_You know" he said looking at the glowing red bar in his gloved hand. "This pry bar must be over 100 degrees. Doesn't it scare you even in the slightest bit that I am about to drive this through you?" _

_Finally, I was able to find the strength to speak. "Please," I pleaded, my heart aching and tears sliding down my cheeks. "Let me go. Don't hurt me, please I beg you!" I said curling up slightly preparing myself for the pain I knew was sure to come. This was the reaction he was looking for. Jessie chuckled over me and I felt my entire being shake. "But my dear Annie, where would be the fun in that?" _

_Instant pain and volcanic fear was all I was strong enough to feel at the time. _

_--_

I lay down on my bed smothering my face in my pillows, hoping somehow that would stop the memories from filling my head. Taking a dead breath to calm myself I inhaled the clean scent of my pillowcases and reached a hand up to wipe my tears. Turning my face so my cheek was lying down on my pillow I looked towards my bedside table once more. I read the time from my blue alarm clock and sighed at the time. My sisters would be home soon so I knew I should probably calm myself down before they get home. My eyes fluttered towards my picture frame once more and I reached a still trembling hand towards the simple frame. Pulling my hand back the frame grasped in my fist I stared at the picture. Once more my thoughts traveled back to Kellan. His sparkling eyes, his messy attractive hair, his broad form, all brought my panic level down as I tried to memorize every image of him. He was the only one who was able to comfort me, he was the only one who completed me; but whenever I thought about him, about us, I couldn't help but feeling guilty. He said he would take care of me, he said he loved me and that, if I would let him, he would help me raise the child I was going to conceive.

As tempting as it was to agree fully to his offer, I couldn't help but feel a constant nudge of guilt whenever I thought about it. If he became a father to my baby he would never be able to finish school, he wouldn't be able to go to medical school and become a doctor; because he would be here with me raising a kid. At first I refused to let him do any of the sorts, but when Kellan had his mind set on something, his determination went on overdrive. There was no convincing him otherwise when it came to that matter. Yet still I didn't know how he would be able to stand it. Knowing that he would have to be a father at 16, for a kid who was conceived from his girlfriend and the man he hated most.

Someone who I too hated with a passion, and probably will always hate as long as I live. Someone who I knew hated me back, and had no regret in ruining my life and that of the people I love and care for.

The only thing that is truly comforting about my situation is that I have Kellan, and all the love he gives me. But still, it does hurt. It hurts more then I will ever let anyone know. It hurts that I cant be like everyone else, I hurts that im shunned by society because of what happened, it hurts that Kellan has to go through the same things I do. But the one thing I promise, is that we will make it through, both of us.

Or we will risk everything trying.

Well, I bet by now I have probably confused you to death, and if not, well, I guess you will be confused soon enough. My story is not a pleasant one for the most part.

But it is a love story.

Love is a very powerful word from my experiences, and it is not to be used lightly. If someone says they love you, they have to mean it with all their heart. They have to be willing to fight for you, to protect you, to hold you when you need them the most. And you must be willing to do those same things in return. Yet sometimes, bad things happen, and I am sure any of you who have been in love before must know what I mean when I say that.

Well, anyways, I am going to start my story now. I don't want to bore you all to death. Now, it started a while back ago, not to long in time. Although I must admit it feels like years to me.

It started sometime in August, the 12th I think of the current year, before I was pregnant, before the life of me and the ones I loved was ruined, before Kellan and I ever realized we were in love with each other. I was out with a bunch of friends and my boyfriend of two years Kellan. We were just out at the theatre, nothing really special. But I didn't know at the time, that, that night, would be the last night everything in my life would be the same as it used to be.

--

"Thanks for driving me back home Adam." I said smiling to the older boy in the front seat driving his small ford green colored van. This van was so old that if I hadn't seen this car when it was first bought then I would have thought the car was more red the green thanks to the rust.

It was the first car that Adam bought when he finally got his license two years back.

Adam smiled back at me with his catching smile of his. He had the same smile as his brother, completely and totally perfect. The Newman brothers were the type of guys that would make a girl melt completely with just a single, small smile.

Adam was 21 and has short dark brown hair that is so dark in looks almost black. He was relatively tall and had nice green eyes. He was a big ladies charmer and sort of a bad boy type character. He used to get into a trouble a lot when he was younger and he wasn't one of the people who tried his hardest to get through school. But I don't care what anyone says, he is the most loyalist, friendliest person anyone could ask for.

"Just don't make a habit of asking ok? I'm not made of money you know. And gas doesn't pay for itself." He said winking in his joking way.

I smiled and reached into my pocket. I know I had some pocket change from the movie somewhere! Giving a little yelp of triumph I pulled a five dollar bill and a few spare coins. Leaning towards the driver seat I held out the money before him "Im sorry that's all I have left from the movie." I said with a sheepish smile. "Guess I shouldn't have gotten that second popcorn huh?"

Adam laughed and pushed my hand back, eyes still glued to the road. "Annie, you don't have to pay me. You know I was only kidding."

"No your right." I insisted. I was starting to feel bad asking him to drive me around sometimes. His family wasn't exactly the richest and he himself couldn't really keep a standing job for a long time. "Come on Adam, please take it." I said smiling at him with a small puppy dog pout. Yet as hard as I tried, I never seemed to convince him because I was a terrible actor and my pout needed some great work.

Adam smirked and laughed. "Keep practicing Anastasia. I don't think that you will be able to do the puppy dog pout good enough to tear me down through."

"Keep your eyes on the road dofus." Kellan said to his brother from beside me before he turned back towards him and pushed my hand back into my lap, my fingers still curled around the pocket change. "And Annie," he said turning his dazzling eyes my way. "Keep the money, you need it too don't forget."

He was right of course, I did need the money. There were only a few more years to University since I was 15. I have been saving up my money for as long as I can remember so I could go to University and become a Marine Biologist. Still, this was only change from a ten dollar movie; I thought that I needed to start paying Adam a little bit for the gas he was wasting on driving us around sometimes.

Yet I knew better this time and I didn't even bother to open my mouth to protest. I was too caught up in his eyes to even try to protest. As always, one look from Kellan made me breathless.

Kellan's blue eyes have always been beautiful, every single girl that goes to our high school has said so multiple times. But the way I see Kellan looking at me sometimes, with those caring, dazzling sapphires staring back at me with a sparkle of emotion in them made my heart shatter into a million pieces and get sewn back together in the same instant.

Kellan always seemed to have that effect on me. We have known each other for almost all of our lives, and have been dating for a few years, so that was not a big surprise for me when I first started to have feelings for him.

I don't know what really got me attracted to him now that I think about it. I think I originally thought it was just because our friendship just turned into something a little bit more then I thought was even possible. Or maybe it was because his beautiful black hair and blue eyes, and charming attitude and smile finally started to get to me.

So instead of bothering to protest I just smiled slightly and looked back out the window. There was no way I was going to win with him anyways.

It was pretty silent for the rest of the trip home, after all. I only lived about half an hour away from the cinema where we had just finished watching "Hairspray" which I loved but the boys found pretty pathetic. We all lived in a one of the smaller cities in Northern Ontario. Well, its not that far up in Ontario as it is only in Sudbury but it was still far enough up north that it could be called Northern Ontario.

Adam and Kellan lived in a small apartment in the middle of town with their father and little sister Kim. There mother divorced from their father 10 years ago and lived in Buffalo before she died of cancer.

The two of them have been my greatest friends for the longest time. I always knew I could count on those two. Don't get me wrong, I have girl friends as well. But I know I can share anything with Kellan, where as with some of my other friends I would be reluctant to tell them everything that is going on in my life.

"Annie, we're here." I heard Kellan say and I ripped my gaze away from the window. Kellan was looking at me with that knowing look, knowing I had zoned out on them again. As my best friend and boyfriend Kellan knew by now that I had a bad habit of day dreaming and zoning in and out of various conversations.

I smiled at him in return and opened the door. Adam had stopped the van at the front of my driveway, since we both found it completely pointless for him to drive down the long dirt driveway.

"Here ill walk you to your house." Kellan said opening his own door and walking out as well. "Be back in a few Adam." He said before he closed the door.

"Alright Kel, see ya Annie." Adam said waving at me. I smiled at him once more. "See you soon Adam." I replied waving once more before Kellan took my hand and we walked down the driveway.

"So did you like the movie?" I said starting a conversation.

Kellan shrugged his shoulders. "It was ok I guess, I found it kinda pointless."

"Pointless?" I said laughing slightly. "That movie had a point to it! It talks about the discrimination of other cultures and languages and races during the sixties and the other social problems people with differences had to face. The struggles some of the characters in the movie had to go through represented how people from today's society are treating people with differences. If THAT doesn't have a meaning then I don't know what does! Definitely not some of those gory horror movies you like to watch." I said pushing him playfully on the shoulder.

Kellan grinned back at me. "Horror movies DO have a point to them! And your just saying that because your scared to watch them." He said teasing me gently.

There he goes again! Being right ALL the time! It was actually starting to get annoying.

It was true. I absolutely can't stand watching horror movies. And he knew that, after all it was our Halloween tradition to watch horror movies with our buddies all night. And he had held it at his apartment last year. We had spent the last hours of that night cleaning my vomit off of his carpet.

But in stead of saying he was right I just kept walking, pouting like a small child. I could hear him laughing at me and he grabbed my wrist gently to stop me from moving.

"Oh come on Ann, you know I was just kidding you." he said to me gently pulling me closer to him. I smiled at him.

"Thanks for trying to apologize Kellan, but i think we both know that you were right when you said that." I said smirking slightly. But my smirk soon faded as i looked back at my house. "But, I should probably get going. I told my parents I would be back an hour ago."

Kellan smiled dampered slightly as well. I could tell that he didn't want to leave me just as much as I didn't want to leave him.

"So you think your parents would mind if I stole you for the night then?" he said jokingly. I laughed slightly and blushed. "You now how my dad is about getting home before dark. Even if this is Sudbury, there still are some bad people around here don't forget." I pointed out to him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Come on Annie. Adam and I just have to go drop his car off at the mechanics then we can just walk back to the apartment and hang out there for a few hours." he suggested hopefully.

I smiled slightly. "Sorry Kellan, I would on any regular night. But it is a Sunday, and I have a geography test tomorrow. I'll need my rest if I want to ace this test."

Kellan rolled his eyes. "Since when do you need your rest to ace a test? You're the smartest girl in Sudbury!"

I blushed harshly. Sure I was smart, but not THAT smart! He must really not want to leave me.

"I have to go Kellan." I persisted. "My dad will flip if i am not inside in the next five minutes."

"Your dad trust me." he said.

I nodded. "Of course he does, he trusts Adam too. But you know how protective he is."

Kellan sighed and gave in. "Alright." he said with a small smile. "Can I have a goodbye kiss then?"

I laughed slightly as i pushed my body towards his. "Do you even have to ask?" I said playfully. Kellan smirked before he bent his head down slightly and crashed his lips down on mine. I wrapped my hand around his neck, running my fingers through his short dark brown locks. Kellan caressed my cheek and i parted my lips slightly to allow his tongue inside my mouth.

I don't know exactly how long we were kissing, I didn't bother to check. We were just to caught up in the moment. But soon we pulled apart for air, and began to take slower, but equally passionate kisses.

"Annie," Kellan said in between kisses as his hand caressed my face and neck. "We should stop."

"Why?" I muttered as my lips continue to grace his.

"One," he said responding back to my kisses eagerly. "Adam is waiting for me impatiently."

"Adam can wait." I murmured into his mouth prying his lips open gently with my tongue.

"And two," he continued to say while continue to kiss me passionately. "I can hear your sisters watching us from the window."

I froze instantly. _**AGAIN!! **_This was the fifth time Kellan had caught them watching us kissing.

My sisters Cathy (12) and Tina (18) both loved to spy on me and Kellan. It was not that they were always annoying. It was just the fact that they both knew that Kellan and I were made for each other and rubbed it in my face every chance they got. But me being the middle child, and the only one having a long term boyfriend at the time, equals to being constantly bothered. Although I don't usually mind them talking to me about Kellan or other guys I have liked in the past. But it is when they spy on me during a private moment. THAT is when I get angry.

"You should probably go then." I muttered pulling out of the kiss and looking over his shoulder to see if I could see them peeking from behind the curtains.

Kellan chuckled slightly and I blushed bright red as he smiled at me.

"Ya, I probably should." He said smiling and kissing my forehead. "Goodnight Anastasia."

I blushed brightly and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight Kellan. I'll see you at school tomorrow right?"

Kellan nodded, walking me to the door and finally dropping my hand. "I'm sure you will." He said smiling.

I smiled back at him. "Alright."

With one last smile Kellan turned around and began to jog lightly back to the van. "Say hi to your dad for me!" I yelled at him.

"Will do!" he shouted back. I smiled at Kellan and he smiled at me before going into the car. I continued to smile and wave at him until they were blocked by the trees.

Instantly my smile faltered. "Guys you can come out now! I know your hiding here!" I said looking at the window which was opened ever so slightly. Instantly I heard giggles and I was pulled in by my younger sister.

"Oh Annie that was so romantic!" Cathy said excitingly to me in her twelve year old, slightly girlish voice. "Did he say when you would meet again?"

I laughed and smiled. "Tomorrow you dofus. He will see me at school on Monday."

"So how was your date?" Tina said to me smiling kindly and giggling. "Looked like you had fun."

"It wasn't really a date. We were with his brother don't forget."

"But still," Cathy said smiling. "How was it, how many times did he kiss you?"

"Was it fun?" Tina said smiling.

I rolled my eyes and winked. "It was, but guess what? Since you guys were spying on me again, im not telling you how it went!"

"AWW! Come on!" Cathy wailed. "I want to know. Besides, I thought we were getting better at spying."

I smirked slightly and laughed. "Kellan could spot you guys a mile away."

"Is that my daughter's laughter I hear?" I could hear a ringing voice call out from somewhere in another hallway over the roar of a vacuum cleaner.

"Hi mom!" I yelled waving as I saw her head pop around the corner. "Im back from the movies."

Once she knew it was me she immediately unplugged the vacuum and walked towards me, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"How was it?" she said smiling. "How is Adam? I haven't seen him in a while."

I shrugged. "He's good." I said to her, but to be honest I was paying more attention to boyfriend then my boyfriend's brother.

"Mom!" Tina called grabbing her purse of the stairway and opening the door. "Im going to go pick up Maggie now alright?"

"Where are you going?" I said as my mom nodded in reply. Tina just shrugged as she checked her reflection in her compact mirror.

"Her and Maggie are going out on a double date." Cathy said smiling. "She is going with Raja again."

"This late?" I said turning back to my older sister. "It's almost 10:00."

Tina shrugged again and smiled as she closed her mirror. "It was kinda last minute." She admitted sheepishly.

I smiled at her and laughed slightly. "Have fun then."

Tina nodded and smiled at me and my sister before walking out of the doorway and climbing into her silver Toyota. She waved to us as she did a U turn and drove out of the driveway.

I turned back to Cathy as I closed the door behind her. "Where is dad?" I wondered out loud.

Cathy shrugged. "He got called in; there was another apartment building on fire again. That is the second time he was called out today."

That was not much of a surprise to me. My dad was usually called out a few times a day for his job. My dad's profession was a fire fighter and he had already won a few awards for heroic deeds. Sometimes he would be gone for an entire day because the fires were really big.

Suddenly we heard a cry from upstairs and I realized that my brother had woken up by the racket we were causing downstairs. My little brother Tanner was only three years old and was absolutely crazy about my sisters and I. So when he realized that I came home he must have woken up.

"Oh dear." My mom said walking up the stairs. "I'll be back in a moment." She called from upstairs as she turned into my brother's small room.

Once my mom was gone Cathy turned towards me and gave me her little smile again.

"You sure you don't want to tell me how it went?" She said hopefully but I just crossed my hands over my chest and shook my head.

"If I tell you know your whole grade will know by tomorrow." I said laughing slightly.

"Not true!" She protested. "I would never tell your secrets!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled slightly. "And my eyes aren't blue." I said chuckling.

Cathy just shrugged knowing she was fighting a loosing battle. "You hungry?" She asked me. "There is some leftover pizza still in the fridge."

I smiled but shook my head. "No, I think im just going to go to bed early tonight. Im kinda tired."

Cathy just shrugged and smirked. "Your loss; but if your not eating it, if you don't mind im going to go inhale it ok?"

I nodded tiredly, to exhausted to ask her to save a piece for me later. So I quickly walked up the stairs and got changed into my pajamas. I lied down on my bed and turned out the light.

But as I closed my eyes, my thoughts were still only on one person. Kellan. His beautiful blue eyes were still staring at me, his arms still wrapped around my shoulders gently. I felt myself smiling giddily. I knew right then I wanted nothing more then for Kellan to be laying next to me, my head resting next to his.

I felt my cheeks grow hot and I immediately put that image out of my head. I didn't really want that did I? And even if I did, did Kellan?

I couldn't know, and I tried not to think about it. But for the next hour I continued to roll around in my bed, unable to stop thinking about Kellan.

_But why? _I thought anxiously looking at the ceiling. _Why am I constantly thinking of him? _

But I never found the answer that night, and I wouldn't for a many number of nights. Because I didn't see Kellan the next day, or even the day after that. The next time I saw him was a month after our last date.


End file.
